So…I started spiro yesterday. They’re gradually increasing my dose, so I only get one half tablet this week but eventually if everything goes well I’ll be going two a day. I’m really happy and really excited, especially considering the rest of life is kind of stressing me out majorly right now.
BEST DAY EVER
Alright, before I sleep (as I have to get up at like 8:30 tomorrow) I just have to talk about my absolutely incredible day. So! First thing, I had my first appointment with an endocrinologist in which I was basically approved for spiro! I’m not starting it yet though, I have to do a few things first which I won’t discuss here. And also the family got some more resources about all this stuff, and my parents seem to be getting better and better about it all the time :) Second thing of the day was watching one of my favourite shows (Modern Family) with my best guy friend, his girlfriend, and the girl I have a major crush on. It was really fun, even if I didn’t exactly “make a move”, I still enjoyed it.
Plus she’s really pretty and nice and funny and just GAH. Third, I went skating with a bunch of really awesome people (which included her :D) and had a really great time. Also, they actually seemed to make a point of saying goodbye to me (something people I’m in a group with don’t always do), which made me feel awesome and actually wanted. :) And finally, I got two flower hair clips which I am already in love with. So yeah, today was kind of the greatest day ever.
So October 11 is apparently National Coming Out Day. Given that after October 5 me and my parents are gonna start talking about possibly coming out more generally (still very “maybe”) that might end up being a kind of big day…I think it’d be good timing, personally, anyway, but there’s a lot of stuff that still needs to be considered.
How did I manage to get triggered at a fucking curling camp? This is why I don’t go outside…
Got the report back from my gender therapist. Everything is saying I have Gender Identity Disorder, and now my parents have no choice but to accept it. It’ll take a while for that to happen, but finally some progress. So happy, so excited, so relieved. Everything is looking up. Yay :3
How Fucking Perfect
Feeling pretty dysphoric and hating a bunch of stuff? Well, maybe I’ll watch an episode of NCIS to take my mind off-OH GODDAMMIT IT’S THE ONE EPISODE THAT FOCUSES ON A TRANS PERSON, COMPLETE WITH MISGENDERING AND INCORRECT TERMINOLOGY. Fucking perfect.
My friend is amazing
She is just…gah. She’s giving me two of her dresses for my birthday (which is coming up) so I’ll finally have some girl clothes! :D funnily enough it’s also her birthday today (so for the third time, happy birthday! [if she’s reading this]) and I’m just…so happy. This is really really exciting, especially considering (with the exception of some stealth toenail painting for a week) I haven’t been able to dress female for months. This should really help the dysphoria. Good mood. Good things. YEAH!
OH HELL YES
OMG OMG OMG. K, so, at my school, the theatre program has gone through a lot of changes these past couple years, and thanks to the AWESOME new director, both the Acting 11 and Musical Theatre 11 courses are FULL. This is big. Unfortunately, yesterday, I went to see my counsellor about something and she informed me that there’s a scheduling conflict, my Math Honours 11 and Acting 11 courses are in the same block in the same semester, and there’s only one class of each. This means: I had to choose, one or the other. And Musical Theatre was full, and I didn’t get in cause I didn’t put it on my course selection form for a stupid reason. Then, what happens? I go see the theatre director (I’m in her Drama 10 class, so she likes me) and tell her the problem, and she says “Why not take Honours, get rid of Acting, and take Musical Theatre instead?” I responded with “I thought Musical Theatre was full”. What followed was the only reason I’ve ever felt thankful to a) Be born male and b) Not be out as transgender yet, as she responded with “There’s always room for more guys”. So, I got Math Honours (which I love cause of the other people in it) AND Musical Theatre (which I realized I wanted more than Acting anyway) so I’M FREAKING OUT WITH HAPPINESS :D
My parents have said I’m allowed to dress female at home
and we’re going to tell my sister the truth about all this tonight. This is all extremely exciting…it’s actually happening. I’m making progress. Also, my parents think I’m androgynous, but I guess that’s for the gender therapist to decide. Anyway, yay, Bri is happy ^.^
I really, really, really dislike being closeted.
Because we’re doing a barefoot thing in our play I’m in at school, I had to take the nail polish on my toes off today. That was pretty much the one thing reminding me what I am. I wish I could just be out about it, and open, but my parents have told me I’m not allowed till I see a gender therapist…which could be a couple months. They still don’t even fucking believe me, and I had to hide my toes from them. This is not fun.